boy's curse/boy's blessing

boy’s curse/boy’s blessing is a desperate anti-dating sim, a shattered queer self-portrait, broken glassed mirror, tortured puzzle video-game, a shakily written list of every binary binding my body and ruining my heart. A hell diary.

Originally designed as an interactive installation exhibited at Visual Studies Workshop in 2021 (Rochester, NY), this is the home version to play with your friends in bed.

The game opens on a puzzle based on mistranslations of my own name. How do you hear it, and when? Which version of my corpse would you go on a date with? Bodies are a problem, this binary I know for sure (but I’m working on undoing it!). Why can't things just add up for once?!

This game comes from a cornered place, when labels and binary expectations are weaponized against me, when it becomes necessary to no longer be seen, and being named is too complicated. I recede into the gray sea of my dreams, but my bodily baggage floats behind me... sexual attraction is confused, and embodiment is difficult.

Included in the game’s files is an audio track which should be played on loop (ideally from a different speaker, ideally loudly from a different room in one’s house) while playing the game. 

In the installation version, this audio is paired with a projected video of my body in bed. The light from the projection is broken by several pieces of glass, refracting the beam in several directions, painting every wall with my dead boy corpse body (riddled with curses, praying for blessings).

Is this boy’s body a blessing or a curse?

At what point can I stop asking this?

Is it possible to untangle these queer threads?

And what would happen if I do?

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Mac and Windows versions available. Around 45 minutes of play. Warnings for language, mental health, and discussion of sex.

Special thanks to mariken for showing me how to generate sprites :3

Feel free to email me with any bugs, questions, or secrets < 3